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You might be a Photo Freak

Ξ June 26th, 2008 | → 1 Comments | ∇ I should have seen the signs |

To borrow a theme from Jeff Foxworthy…

• If the list of possible names you considered for your newborn included Fuji, F-stop, and PS3, you might be a photo freak
• If you refuse to buy a car because there’s not enough space on the side to display your wedding website URL, you might be a photo freak
• If you’ve been known to place your Nikon D3 camera body in a vapor-proof, environmentally-sealed, temperature controlled display case, you might be a photo freak
• If you have more pictures of past clients than your own family in your wallet, you might be a photo freak
• If you’ve been known to shout, “This would make a great prop!” across a department store crowded with people, you might be a photo freak
• If you’ve screeched to a halt while driving because you spotted “the perfect light”, you might be a photo freak
• If you can find Bend, Oregon on a map, you might be a photo freak
• If your nightstand is covered with a stack of books written by Scott Kelby, you might be a photo freak
• If your dream house has only one room with a northern facing floor to ceiling window for that perfect soft light, you might be a photo freak
• If  all of the “cookbooks” in your house show detailed lighting diagrams rather than actual recipes for food, you might be a photo freak
• If a sight-seeing trip to New York has B&H Photo Video as your one and only stop, you might be a photo freak
• If you have an autographed photo from David Beckstead on your desk where your wife’s photo should be, you might be a photo freak
• If you’ve ever scaled the side of a building or climbed on top of a garbage can to get a higher perspective for a photo, you might be a photo freak
• If a trip to Las Vegas gets you excited about the trade show you’ll attend, you might be a photo freak
• If you’re on a first name basis with all of the sales guys at Midwest Photo Supply, you might be a photo freak
• If the words “Nikon 500mm f/4G ED VR AF Lens with LensCoat  Cover and Hoodie” bring a tear to your eye, you might be a photo freak
• If the thought of spending a Saturday afternoon without two cameras in hand causes you physical pain, you might be a photo freak
• If the majority of your friends have been married within the last two years, you might be a photo freak

And finally,

• If your Christmas stocking contains more than 2 Compact Flash cards that Santa has given you as a gift, you might be a photo freak

How it all started…

Ξ June 21st, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ I should have seen the signs |

On October 1st, I married the man.  And like all second marriages, he came with baggage. 

We both sold our much bigger houses and settled into our little Cape Cod in a new state to start life together.  He told me he sold everything but he showed up with boxes, cases, backpacks and crates filled with camera gear.  Ok, I was ready for the emotional stuff.  But the gear was a surprise.

Maybe not so much the gear.  The amount of gear.

Those of you who married the same type of man know what I’m talking about.  Camera gear grows.  It multiplies.  It spreads.  It finds its way into your refrigerator. 

Like mold.

You open a door one day and a backdrop cloth comes tumbling out like some sort of tie-dyed ghost ready to suck you into the depths of hell.  You open the refrigerator only to get pelted by little canisters of film that have escaped the butter shelf at the top of the fridge door.  No, they must stay in the fridge so the chemicals are kept pristine, like some sort of prized orchid.  But where shall I put my butter dish?  It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not by the film.

And those of you who are not married to photo freaks may think it’s just a camera and a lens that infultrates your space.  No, if it were so simple… Let me give you a list of items that show up when that first camera cockroach invades your space:

• the gear bag (think suitcase that is in your living room 100% of the time)
• the tripods and their cousins, the background stands
• flash equipment like stands, lightbulbs, diffusers, and springy little rods that hold the monster together
• enlargers
• more cases
• lenses that must be displayed so as to remember that the lens is even owned and should be used
• batteries, batteries, batteries and a charging station that rivals a nuclear power plant
• computers because you need one to process the raw files while you browse Digital Wedding Forum on the other
• software boxes, owners manuals, printouts from Adobe training sites
• hard drives because you have to save every episode of PhotoshopUserTV and every other podcast relating to Photoshop, photography, and anything remotely tied to Adobe

So while I brought the non-essentials like dishes and towels, he brought the important items that he claims need to be encapsulated in hermetically sealed display cases but which actually sit on our bookshelves and gather dust.