PhotoWidow.com

The Egyptians really had the right idea…

Ξ March 30th, 2010 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Dreams of the future |

Bury stuff in the tomb when the person dies.  Yeah.  Love that.

So when Paul goes, I figure the size of the house will magically double when I clear out all the photo gear.  View cameras, bellows, light stands, background stands, tripods, all of which are currently eating up valuable real estate.

The trouble is, I plan to have Paul cremated.  That way I can put him in a jar and store him on my living room mantle.  And then he won’t be able to interrupt me while I’m talking.

But he probably won’t be listening anyways.

How to talk a wedding photographer into an August vacation

Ξ June 24th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Dreams of the future |

1. First off, explain that all outdoor photos will have a hazy white sky.  And you just know those blinking highlights on the camera display will cause light induced seizures.
2. Point out that old churches don’t have great air conditioning.  Explain how your hands get all sweaty and moist and you fear dropping the D300 over the railing during the ceremony.  If your man is savvy enough to mention the use of a tripod, tell him that the camera lens still fogs up due to the high humidity.
3. Sell the vacation locale.  For Alaska, stress the opportunity to photograp glaciers, whales, bald eagles, and jumping salmon while they “still exist on this reckless Earth we live in”.  For Hawaii, talk about the tropical grotto only accessed by locals using little known footpaths where pristine waters are so clear that you can literally photograph a quarter lying on the bottom of the pond.  For Europe, talk about the photo safaris that David Beckstead conducts and wouldn’t it be great to shoot some errant bride just waiting for her ceremony to begin in a lavishly decorated cathedral?  And, mention Italy.  For some reason photographers just go goo-goo over the thoughts of olive groves, fields of grapes on the vine, and cobblestones…
4. Explain the need for a break before entering the busiest month of the year (October for those of us located in PA).  Tell your photo freak how the vacation will give him a chance to read his owner’s manual to figure out the Cliff Mautner method of exposure compensation.  Then tell him that a vacation with no meetings will enable him to actually grow the Cliff Mautner style moustache that you personally find extremely sexy…
5. Point out how no bookings occurred during the month of August last year and that inquiries won’t seriously pick up again until the holidays roll around
6. Promise to purchase 20 rolls of medium format film so he can pretend to be Ansel Adams.  Yes, I know that Ansel used a different format film but it’s easier to travel with a MF camera…
7. Talk about the colorful local people and how he can get some really cool documentary style photos that he just can’t get here.  Come on, how many sherpas exist in Pittsburgh?
8. Mention that there are plenty of photo and Photoshop classes on the Cruising Through Life ships!
9. Tell him his work is getting kind of stagnant since he photographs the same places all the time and that a change in venue will get those creative juices flowing.
10. Mention that the kids will be out of school and therefore can carry gear from one location to the next but you can only get them away from the Playstation 3 by leaving the house